By Lydiah Mpyisi on July 31st, 2015
Feeling betrayed, heart broken, lied to, incompetent? Sometimes I feel the same way and I have come to realize that it is part of life. Believe it or not, such life experiences make us stronger, wiser and better than we initially were. Today, I have decided to spare a few minutes of my time to share some important lessons that I believe my life experiences have taught me.
In Swahili, we say "Asiye funzwa na mamaye hufunzwa na ulimwengu." In English, this saying can be translated as, he/she who does not live up to their parents teachings will receive similar teachings from life experiences. Personally, I strive to heed onto my parents' teachings but I still find myself learning a lot through my personal experiences. As the wise men said, experience is the best teacher.
As I write this post, I feel good about myself despite the fact that I have experienced hurtful events that occurred to me unexpectedly. WHY? Because I have learnt to forgive, forget, and as my sweet sister Corrine says, to keep on smiling. For the past few months, I have been feeling down and blaming others for being the cause of my pain. However, after taking some quiet time to flash back and examine the situation from a truthful point of view, I realized that I played a role worsening the situation because I:
1. REACTED - immediately I received a message I thought was disrespectful and insensitive.
2. ATTACKED - the other person thinking that reminding them of all the bad things that they had done to to me, either intentionally or unintentionally, will help them realized how hurt I was.
As you can imagine, none of these techniques worked. In stead, they made things worse between us. Nevertheless, I realize that everything would have turned out differently if I:
1. BREATHED - before reacting to what I thought was offensive.
2. ACKNOWLEDGED - the other party's point of view before judging them and blaming them
3. RESPONDED - to the other party's point of view in lieu of reacting.
My dear readers, remember that it is not always about you. Studies have long shown that humans are social beings and we need each other for survival. Thus, in order to make the world a better place, we need to live with people the way they are. Let us learn to acknowledge our mistakes, apologize, forgive, forget, and do good. With that, we shall learn to turn lemons into lemonades and thus, enjoy what life has to offer despite all the difficult experiences that we undergo through in life.
Much love,
Ms. Mpyisi #DrToBe